On 27th May 2010 I gave my P1 speech in this very same room; wherein I mentioned that - 'In august 2009 I had left the comfort of my friends and family to join Infosys knowing not what I want and that I was still without a clue.'
In August 2010, today I leave Infosys, at least knowing what I don't want.
Good evening Toastmaster, fellow Toastmasters and dear guests.
I made a choice. And I was constantly been asked this question - 'If I am really happy about it?'
Fed up of answering, I planned to put up the answer in the form of this speech and will probably later just share the link of this speech if ever faced with this question again.
The question I answer here is 'How to be happy about the choices we make in life?'
This is a issue a lot of people face. If you really think about it, SO MANY choices to make in life. SO MANY. And with that come regrets. So many “If only’s”.
How do we deal with all that?
Well, if we break down what makes people unhappy about the choices they make; we can put it into 3 broad categories.
The first is: How do I know if this is the right choice to make?
Let me share a personal experience. One day I happened to go to my favourite ice cream parlour with friends. And I was confused as to what to have? A scoop of vanilla or chocolate, a cone or a sundae?
We have so many choices to choose from, that we feel like if we stick to one, we’re missing out on all the rest and on top of all that, we can’t even know for sure if the choice we make is the right choice or not because we haven’t tried them all.
The second is what I call “present regret”.
Now at the parlour I finally decided to have a sundae which had vanilla, chocolate and strawberry.
I thought I chose the best until I turned around to see my friend holding this big bowl of chocolate choco-chip ice cream! Instantly I knew I had made the wrong choice.
That leads to the third category which is long term regret, the one people most struggle with.
A week after this ice cream adventure I happened to have an unpleasant confrontation with the weighing scale! And it was clear that the sundae was the worst decision of that week!
Now, let’s tackle each issue, one by one.
The first is we have so many choices in front of us that we don’t know which to pick and we’re hesitant because there is always a chance of something “better”.
The question we ask our self in this situation is - What is the best one?
We all want the best one.
That’s our usual decision making process.
But best is all relative.
What’s best for one is not best for another. One may want to live in Bangalore. The other might loath that kind of atmosphere and would like to live in a smaller city like Mangalore.
We therefore use our values as filters to choose what the best “choice” is for us. If values are not clear, it’s easy to get trapped into indecision.
The method that I adopted to realize my values was to answer this question:
What do I want in life?
I wrote it down on a paper. It started off with the material possessions – I want a house, nice car, clothes, lot of money, etc., then it went on to what I want to do, pretty superficial stuff at first but as I keep writing and writing, I got to some deeper, core type ideas. Finally recurring themes come up. Pretty soon I could see a hierarchy come into play.
I used this as help guide to make the best “choice”.
The second issue is we make a choice and we feel initial regret; that it’s not the right one.
Here’s the thing.
Life is a figuring out process. Nobody makes the exact right choices all the time. We need to acknowledge that. Respect the exploration. Appreciate the journey. Give our self the freedom to experiment.
It’s only by making these types of choices that we get good at making the “right” ones for us later on.
Then we come to long term regret.
Reality is all in our mind. You change the programming in your mind, you change your reality.
We just need to exercise our choice to change how we view reality.
A ton of people have always said the best thing that ever happened to them was because of this huge mistake they made. Still, a ton of other people says they just made the worst mistake of their life and leave it at that.
Both groups made the same mistakes with two different viewpoints that altered their lives forever.
Those who say it’s the best thing to happen to them confess how it really clarified a lot of things, gave them a fresh start, gave them the much-needed-push, etc.
Those who say it’s the worst thing just get caught up in this cycle of regret and playing the victim and can’t get out of that pit of despair.
Rewrite your history - Rewrite your reality.
It’s all in our head.
We can choose to see how that “bad” choice we made benefited us and operate from there.
If we put all three of the actions discussed here into play, chances are, we’ll be pretty happy with the choices we made and will make.
Tuesday, 10 August 2010
Saturday, 31 July 2010
P2 - Life witout TV!
This instrument can teach, it can illuminate; yes, and it can even inspire. But it can do so only to the extent that humans are determined to use it to those ends. Otherwise, it is nothing but wires and lights in a box.
Good evening Toastmaster, fellow TMs and guests.
These are the words of - Edward R. Morrow
One and a quarter century after its origin, Television has conquered almost all the nook and corner of the world. Television has become an indispensable part as water or air for majority of the population. The arguments for and against television is but an old story.
Now, can we imagine a life without television? Most of my teenage memories are strongly intertwined with the popular T V shows of those days from Chandrakanta to Hip Hip Hurray! I seem to have grown-up with these TV shows but not at the same pace as the ‘Ba’ of a coveted Saas-Bahu serial. Even today, we love to, lose ourselves into the glittering and unreal soap operas, travel to the unknown lands and histories through the scenic descriptions in TV shows, shudder at the real life experiences shown through news bulletins and chat eagerly with others about our favourite television shows. In that case why should I imagine a life without television!
Well, there are certain essential factors that lead our life other than the mere illusions blended with a little reality.
Hence since long I have kept myself alienated from tv. The first inspiration for this came from books. The wonderful collection of magazines and books opens one’s imagination to a more glittering world than those shown by soap operas. In the process of reading our imagination gets superior and humble. The places and histories we visit through the description in the books gets engrained into our memory. The television shows based on these books and descriptions fails to show the characters in our imagination. The essence of imagination becomes much more of an entertainment than the stuffiness in the living rooms.
That’s true even for news channel. Although it has an advantage of instant reporting but in daily routine the events in the world become a half an hour scene in the television. On the other hand newspapers and real life experiences gives a more in-deep understanding of the news. To get out of the comforts of our sofa sets and to be present in person at the ground zero takes only the pressing of an off button on the television remotes. Living in the news is at times much more satisfying than mutely gathering information of the outer world from the Television.
Yet to call television as an 'idiot box' won‘t be fair. In spite of many people censuring television for everything that is negative from health problems to criminal activities. And the fact that there are disputes in the families for some particular channels with regard to personal interests. Even though majority of these arguments are justified, it is important to keep in mind that television is benefiting society in so many ways. Little children, old people and most busy professionals are the people who gain the major advantage of television. Little children and old people may have denied access to the wonderful world of reading and activities due to their physical inabilities. Professionals in the busy corporate world get a chance to have a fleeting look at the happenings around them during their short break through television. But this is not the scenario around everyone.
Television is not an essential part of life for many who have time to experience the real life. The real life offers more wonderful things for relaxation and adventure than can be offered through the square box in your living room. A morning or evening walk through the serene nature, an open mind to know the events around you, and a realization about the things that will make you happy in the real life will be more rewarding than the pleasure and knowledge offered by the television set. At last I would like to rap it up with this one thought: life without television is not a mishap, but something closer to life.
Good evening Toastmaster, fellow TMs and guests.
These are the words of - Edward R. Morrow
One and a quarter century after its origin, Television has conquered almost all the nook and corner of the world. Television has become an indispensable part as water or air for majority of the population. The arguments for and against television is but an old story.
Now, can we imagine a life without television? Most of my teenage memories are strongly intertwined with the popular T V shows of those days from Chandrakanta to Hip Hip Hurray! I seem to have grown-up with these TV shows but not at the same pace as the ‘Ba’ of a coveted Saas-Bahu serial. Even today, we love to, lose ourselves into the glittering and unreal soap operas, travel to the unknown lands and histories through the scenic descriptions in TV shows, shudder at the real life experiences shown through news bulletins and chat eagerly with others about our favourite television shows. In that case why should I imagine a life without television!
Well, there are certain essential factors that lead our life other than the mere illusions blended with a little reality.
Hence since long I have kept myself alienated from tv. The first inspiration for this came from books. The wonderful collection of magazines and books opens one’s imagination to a more glittering world than those shown by soap operas. In the process of reading our imagination gets superior and humble. The places and histories we visit through the description in the books gets engrained into our memory. The television shows based on these books and descriptions fails to show the characters in our imagination. The essence of imagination becomes much more of an entertainment than the stuffiness in the living rooms.
That’s true even for news channel. Although it has an advantage of instant reporting but in daily routine the events in the world become a half an hour scene in the television. On the other hand newspapers and real life experiences gives a more in-deep understanding of the news. To get out of the comforts of our sofa sets and to be present in person at the ground zero takes only the pressing of an off button on the television remotes. Living in the news is at times much more satisfying than mutely gathering information of the outer world from the Television.
Yet to call television as an 'idiot box' won‘t be fair. In spite of many people censuring television for everything that is negative from health problems to criminal activities. And the fact that there are disputes in the families for some particular channels with regard to personal interests. Even though majority of these arguments are justified, it is important to keep in mind that television is benefiting society in so many ways. Little children, old people and most busy professionals are the people who gain the major advantage of television. Little children and old people may have denied access to the wonderful world of reading and activities due to their physical inabilities. Professionals in the busy corporate world get a chance to have a fleeting look at the happenings around them during their short break through television. But this is not the scenario around everyone.
Television is not an essential part of life for many who have time to experience the real life. The real life offers more wonderful things for relaxation and adventure than can be offered through the square box in your living room. A morning or evening walk through the serene nature, an open mind to know the events around you, and a realization about the things that will make you happy in the real life will be more rewarding than the pleasure and knowledge offered by the television set. At last I would like to rap it up with this one thought: life without television is not a mishap, but something closer to life.
Tuesday, 25 May 2010
P1 - The ice-breaker!
Watch it here!
Princess to her father, brat to her mother and almost narcissist about her name – Sakshi. Here I am finally to break the ice. :) Good evening TM, fellow TMs and dear guests. I was born in the desert land of Bikaner, Rajasthan at my maternal house. After three months of all the celebration past my birth I went to Al Saud, in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia; where my parents both being medical professionals were serving there at a local hospital. After three years of service there, and failing afterwards to get released from their job, my parents with me absconded to India. In motherland, after hopping from towns like Ludhiana (which was then as disputed as Kashmir has always been), we all finally settled at Khetri Copper Complex, for next 10 years to come. Khetri, is a small public sector enterprise in Jhunjhunu district of Rajasthan. I had the best time of my life there. Studying in prestigious and reputed school like Sophia, I was active in way too any activities. Apart from all the illegal ones, I was into dance, drama and sports like badminton and basketball. I was the rough and tough kind. I almost loved bruised ankles and elbows. After all I didn’t know till then that people normally have to pay for the bandages and the dressing of the wound. After living there like little spoilt child, my parents decided that it was time to move on to a bigger city so as to provide me with better education and broader vision. It was my time for the reality check. New place new people and a school with only girls. This was abnormal for me. Seeing my past records of all the adventure trips on cycle.. None of my plan has ever been without a guy. And now here I was in this vast pool of girls. I almost failed at making friends for 2 years and then the school was over. But nonetheless I always had my best friend by my side, my mother! :) Meanwhile I fell in love! Fell in love with this new city, which I still am. Am all consumed in my love for Pink City - Jaipur. Me and my friends state this too often.. “Roam all the places possible, nowhere are the right thick and thin of Jaipur” I took admission in a city engineering college after my 12th; and dedicated four complete years in learning, discovering and spreading all the pathways and hangout places in and around Jaipur. In college I was the leader who made sure that once planned no one ever dares to attend the college on a mass bunk day. My cupboard proudly donned 2 denims and a dozen of Tees with witty lines on it (of course). I had a total of 4 Indian suits for 4 practical exams every semester. That is of course until I joined Infosys! To sum up what all I am today, would be incomplete without me mentioning my 2 brethren for life: First being my college room- mate Anjali, my partner in crime @ Hostel.; and an amazing clay animation artist, professionally. And then is Gola, for the world - Utkarsh. My partner in crime @ college. And seriously we were criminals to our lecturers. There was one particular lecturer who modified a very famous and archaic African legend to make our college mates understand the gravity of our crimes and its impact on them. The old legend is - “one rotten fish in a pack causes all the rest to go rotten” He made some minor but vital changes and said - “Two fat rotten fishes in a pack causes all the rest to go rotten” Well one fat fish is standing here and the other one is presently an intern at O n M, I hope he will make it big in the advertisement world some day. It is less to say when I say that, I cannot do without these two amazing people in my life. I left behind the comfort of my dear family and friends in August 2009 to start my career with Infosys knowing not what I want and I am still without a clue.
But for now, the criminal has made it to Infosys. One word: Beware!
Princess to her father, brat to her mother and almost narcissist about her name – Sakshi. Here I am finally to break the ice. :) Good evening TM, fellow TMs and dear guests. I was born in the desert land of Bikaner, Rajasthan at my maternal house. After three months of all the celebration past my birth I went to Al Saud, in Kingdom of Saudi Arabia; where my parents both being medical professionals were serving there at a local hospital. After three years of service there, and failing afterwards to get released from their job, my parents with me absconded to India. In motherland, after hopping from towns like Ludhiana (which was then as disputed as Kashmir has always been), we all finally settled at Khetri Copper Complex, for next 10 years to come. Khetri, is a small public sector enterprise in Jhunjhunu district of Rajasthan. I had the best time of my life there. Studying in prestigious and reputed school like Sophia, I was active in way too any activities. Apart from all the illegal ones, I was into dance, drama and sports like badminton and basketball. I was the rough and tough kind. I almost loved bruised ankles and elbows. After all I didn’t know till then that people normally have to pay for the bandages and the dressing of the wound. After living there like little spoilt child, my parents decided that it was time to move on to a bigger city so as to provide me with better education and broader vision. It was my time for the reality check. New place new people and a school with only girls. This was abnormal for me. Seeing my past records of all the adventure trips on cycle.. None of my plan has ever been without a guy. And now here I was in this vast pool of girls. I almost failed at making friends for 2 years and then the school was over. But nonetheless I always had my best friend by my side, my mother! :) Meanwhile I fell in love! Fell in love with this new city, which I still am. Am all consumed in my love for Pink City - Jaipur. Me and my friends state this too often.. “Roam all the places possible, nowhere are the right thick and thin of Jaipur” I took admission in a city engineering college after my 12th; and dedicated four complete years in learning, discovering and spreading all the pathways and hangout places in and around Jaipur. In college I was the leader who made sure that once planned no one ever dares to attend the college on a mass bunk day. My cupboard proudly donned 2 denims and a dozen of Tees with witty lines on it (of course). I had a total of 4 Indian suits for 4 practical exams every semester. That is of course until I joined Infosys! To sum up what all I am today, would be incomplete without me mentioning my 2 brethren for life: First being my college room- mate Anjali, my partner in crime @ Hostel.; and an amazing clay animation artist, professionally. And then is Gola, for the world - Utkarsh. My partner in crime @ college. And seriously we were criminals to our lecturers. There was one particular lecturer who modified a very famous and archaic African legend to make our college mates understand the gravity of our crimes and its impact on them. The old legend is - “one rotten fish in a pack causes all the rest to go rotten” He made some minor but vital changes and said - “Two fat rotten fishes in a pack causes all the rest to go rotten” Well one fat fish is standing here and the other one is presently an intern at O n M, I hope he will make it big in the advertisement world some day. It is less to say when I say that, I cannot do without these two amazing people in my life. I left behind the comfort of my dear family and friends in August 2009 to start my career with Infosys knowing not what I want and I am still without a clue.
But for now, the criminal has made it to Infosys. One word: Beware!
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